Indulgent Rant #2: Weekender newspaper
I know I run the risk of being labelled a grumpy old man. Once this post is up, that will make two in a row that are rants and ravings about pathetic service I’ve received. I make no apologies, just the promise that I will return soon with some real blog posts. Meanwhile, I absolutely have to get this off my chest.
The email below speaks for itself. So I won’t give you any background except to say that I sent it off this afternoon to the Weekender newspaper – as/when/if they reply I’ll keep you updated here. Email as follows:
OK now I am seriously pissed off.
On 11 September I subscribed to the Weekender at Winex. I paid by credit card, which was debited at the time for R360.
There was some delay in the subscription starting (see emails below). Eventually the first copy arrived on 25 October – six weeks, several emails, broken promises and phone calls after I had subscribed.
I have just checked my bank statement and noticed that R446.28 was debited from my account on 28 November. This attracted a service charge from my bank of R12.
My question – which should be self explanatory by now – is this: Why why why why was my account debited for this subscription when I had already paid??????? Why? For the love of the planet, the birds, trees and everything in it, why? The only reason you had my banking details at all is that, when I was complaining that my subscription had not arrived, I gave you the bank details requesting a refund. You didn’t refund me. YOU DEBITED ME. Why? Can someone – anyone- explain?
This is not acceptable. This is far from acceptable. This is so bloody ridiculously unacceptable any last vestige of goodwill I had toward your paper has gone. Editorially the paper is awesome – well written, great design, some of the best content there is in South African journalism. But isn’t it amazing the extent of the brand damage crap admin can cause? No matter how much I enjoy the paper, I no longer wish my front lawn to be sullied by its presence on Saturday morning (it arrives late anyway, it’s easier for me to get in my car and go and buy it. Not that I would, now. I’m just saying that I could if I wanted to.) It is too stressful being a subscriber of yours. I thought it would be easy. The cheerful woman at the subscription stand at Winex gave me hope. But I realise now that, maybe, that was the wine speaking. Or hearing. Whichever. It was the wine. Not reality.
So here is what is going to happen:
1. You are going to credit my account R446.28 plus the R12 service charge. Let me do the maths for you…..you are going to credit me with R458.28. And you are going to do so TODAY. I don’t care if your financial manager has to draw it from petty cash, get in his car and drive to FNB to deposit it him or herself. It is my money, removed from my account without my permission. That is stealing. It is against the law. You may not take money out of someone’s account unless you have the permission to do so. You have never acquired nor sought such permission from me. It is illegal. Like downloading pirated music. Smoking in aeroplane toilets. And driving the wrong way down a one-way street with stratospheric alcohol levels in your bloodstream and your pants around your ankles. Illegal. Wrong. And just a little bit sinister.
2. You are going to cancel my subscription. Immediately. I never, ever, ever want a copy of Weekender in my house. Is there any way at all I can make this clearer? Cancel it. Remove all record of me from your system. Give me my money back and forget that I ever existed. I have had six copies of my 52 week subscription. The remaining 46 copies? I honestly, genuinely don’t give a flying monkey’s butt what you do with them. Sell them to some other poor sod. And I’m going to be generous and not ask for a pro rata refund of my subscription of R360. Keep it. Buy yourself a little something. Like a new accounting system. Or spend it on marketing – entice people to subscribe to your paper and then screw them around endlessly. It obviously gives you great amounts of pleasure to do so.Can I make myself any clearer at all? Is there anything vague or ambiguous in what I have written? If so, please let me know and I will write it out with giant wax crayons and post it to you. Or come to my blog – a copy of this letter will be going up there. Maybe the pretty background will help you understand it better.
Thank you.
Tony Lankester
PS Someone called Gugu from your “Subscription hotline” is currently running around your building trying to find out what the story is. Please be kind, track her down and tell her not to bother any more. It’s over. We’re done. It was fun, but it is over.
PPS Why are you charging customers R446 for an annual subscription when your website says the price is R416.50?
OK in fairness to the Weekender, here’s an update:
Approximately 10 minutes after sending the above email, I received a phone call from them – I think it was from Maphala. She apologised for their error, offered to refund me not only the erroneous debit, but also the original R360 I had paid, and throw in a free year’s subscription (I did tell her that this wasn’t necessary, remembering my “don’t want it to sully my front lawn” comment). Kudos to them for such swift action – good response to a grumpy customer.
Their financial manager won’t be drawing the money from petty cash and driving to FNB to deposit it, it will be done electronically in a couple of days. Since they acted so quickly and generously I thought it would be churlish to insist on the timeline I had proposed in my email.
Life continues – less grumpy blogging from now on. Thanks for indulging me….
Nice one. Could you become my official complainer — almost like an official biographer? I’ll forward you details of all the companies that piss me off, and you can let rip.
This was fun to read, and entertaining. It’s amazing how creative one can be when properly pissed off. Remind me not to piss you off.